architecture so far~

okay, so far ~ well, urrm im okay~
i guessss~
so basically i get it nw...
architecture is tough!

well, this sem im taking design1~
its a new subject , its interesting and kinda challenging...
seriously!!!
the subject is tough, the toughest so far....
i've been through a lot because of design :s
i've learned a lot coz of it
basically design gets to me~

im not saying that i loath architecture now that i've been through design1~
im not saying that i'll quit the programme~
its just that nw i kinda knw what its like going to be for another 3years of my degree :s

owh~ just thinking about it, i just hope that i can make through it!
so here i am on my 2nd year~
JUST starting to learn and get to knw architecture a lil' bit better~

design1 is like literally an intro towards the world of architecture
its like learning art , knw the colours n shape n such
its basically the abc of architecture~
eventhough its an intro, its tough!
its basically mentally and emotionally tough!!!!
every time we had a critique session and submission,
some of us cried, relieved and just like kinda shaken a bit....

the feeling when the lecturers dont like what your doing,
the feeling when your mock models that you had worked so hard for being crushed by them, the feeling of them ripping your presentation boards and just doodle something on your boards using PERMENANT MARKERS, the feeling when the lecturers actually dont want to hear anything you say because he/she thinks that the idea sucks (doesnt even give us a chance), oooowh! the feeling when their expression changed! the feeling when they just kinda make a statement and just doesnt give you a break at all~
oowh the feeling i tell u, its kinda degrading, it feels like emptiness , failure and just purely disappointment~
its just a feeling that you dont wanna hold on to... let it be said like that~
but....
luckily we have each other (my studiomates = kreinova),
we've been through a lot together within this 3 semester so far~

nw im at the end of my semester,
its exam week nw~
then its review day!
starting this sem, our finale review will be like a public exhibition event...
aiyoyo meaning that anyone, and i mean ANYONE , like parents , siblings, friends, even our neighbours can come to our finale review day~
its open to the public~

but seriously, what i had in my mind when MR.F (our studio-master) told us that its gonna be a public display, i was like, "aiyoyo, this cant be, malu gilaaa nnti~", im not ready because im not confident enough to show my work to my parents.
its not like, im not proud of my work, its just that....
i think i could hv done better~ i dont knw i just dont feel at ease when i knw that eventually they will see it~

aarrrrghhhh!
i dont knw!~
just writing about it nw makes my heartbeat beats faster than usual,
aiyoyo *sweating* i dont knw, i think i just hv to deal with it eventually~
but... *tengah gelabah* uuuuuuu~

k~
later i would post some snippets of my works....
i need some break uuurgh~